Yes, my church is involved in a fast.  I’ve been trying really hard myself to participate by cutting my junk food intake.  They are all going Vegan diet (no animal byprodcuts).  I had lunch with one of the pastors, Tuesday and I forget to get some vegies.  So we went to the local mexican food joint and had nachos – Vegitarian Nachos.  I’m going to have to say it was an excellent thing being blessed by Big Burrito.

It was an excellent lunch for fasting.

Well, as I put together my new website at http://www.thezach.net I choose to put in a page so people can learn aboutAspergers Syndrome and Autism.  There you can find a feed of the latest Aspergers Related Blogs, Online Videos about Aspergers Syndrome and even the Latest News About Aspergers Syndrome.  Please note that I am still developing this resource and it may go up and down frequently, if you are having problems with it rendering in your browser, or have suggestions on how to make this resource better feel free to leave a comment on this blog post, oh and also feel free to click the advertisements if you find them interesting – it would greatly help my financial situation.

 Also if you would like me to add your blogs feed to the page I would be happy too – I’m looking for more great content.  Just once again leave me a comment.

No, this is not in the wow that’s awesome, but more like the WoW I sit in front of this computer game all day and do nothing.  He just moved today.  The first thing that had to be hooked up was his computer and he has done nothing since but play World of Warcraft.  From what I can tell is you are a magical barney look charector - or whatever and you beat up stupid things with teams called guilds.  It sounds a lot like Power Rangers to me.

 I doubt this guy would take a crap if it did not involve World of Warcraft and getting to level 78.

I was listening to a pod-cast a couple weeks back and they were discussing if use of the word ‘Nigger’ is appropriate.  One caller called in and stated it was ‘Retarded’.  It made my blood boil.  Nigger was used as a demeaning word to people of a certain race, the word retarded is now used as a demeaning word to people of a certain disability.  While it was not the original purpose of the word, it has ended up being used to describe foolish behavior and decision making to much in society today.

How can someone who is fighting for equality use such a word to fight for there cause?  By using this word in this context this person insulted countless people to make her cause seem better.  Don’t get me wrong here – I’m all for equality of all kinds – racial, gender, and by disability.  I just don’t understand how one person can shove down another group in this way to fight for their cause.

Every year my church does a fast for the month of January.  Well even though I haven’t gone solidly for a few months now I decided I would try.  I broke it in less then 24 hours – I needed my stress foods (caffeine and chocolate).  Now I’m trying to justify why I’m doing the fast.  I don’t feel like part of the church family anymore.

Bah emotions are so much like world politics – there confusing.

Today I got the best Christmas present ever – it was simple.  Having lunch with an old friend.  Spending time with someone who really does care about you and just wants to talk and have fun was the best thing of my Christmas break.  It amazes me sometimes how simple things are such awesome things.

I just have to admit it, I’m never going to be normal and I’m finally getting to that point.  Because of Asperger’s Syndrome I’m destined to live alone, and die an old person that no one even knows about.  Just because I look normal and may be intellectually fine people assume I am normal, but I’m not – but I cant describe why I’m different because I don’t know what normal is – people may think I like being alone – I hate it!

The typical Christian response I always get is, “Your not alone, God loves you.”  -  That follows the same biblical concept as – “I’m a serial killer but its cool, Jesus died for my sins.”  God created us to need each other and not just him.  Why do you think there are two genders, that people have different gifts and talents?  Basically your using God and the bible as a cop out. 

Another typical response I always get is “Don’t worry about it I know Jimbob and he has Aspergers and he has a job”.  Well heres how I answer that – does Jim Bob have a family he can talk too?  Does Jim Bob have friends he can talk too?  Well my family isnt really there for me at all – and I really don’t have much hope they ever will be.  As for friends I have 2 – one is moving oversees for life in less then a year, and the other is cognitively impaired so I have to be careful about having in-depth conversations with her due to her ability to understand.

The River, the church I used to attend produced a video a while back:

When I hit the play button when I played that the first time in church while in the sound booth everyone was laughing – the sad reality is the first part of the video is my life.  I just wish I could snap my fingers and be normal but I have to face it -there’s no cure for what I have, this is the way God made me and its not going to change.  I just wish other people would accept that as well and not reject me because of it.

I’m sick of people so much – no – I’m not normal.  No I will never be normal.  SO YOU CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW.  MEdications wont change me – you can’t treat nor cure Aspergers – Just like you can’t make an apple into a bananna. My dad sent me $140 cash – I havent heard from him in over a year but I get $140.  I burned the money – every last cent of it.  I dont want your money jackass – I want you to actually care.  I’m sick of all the bullshit people say about me in front of my face thinking I dont hear them or understand them – I have ears you assholes!  I am so sick of every fucking person on this planet – I’m different get the fuck over it – ASSHOLES!

FLECKENSTEIN, Nathan C.
Of Kalamazoo

Passed away Monday evening, Dec. 17, 2007 at home. Nathan was the treasured son of Michael and Tamara and beloved by his family. For all the problems he had, he never complained. He always accepted his seizure disorder as though it was normal. He didn’t like the way the medicine affected him but took it anyway. He knew he was different, but tried desperately to fit in. He saw how others related to one another. He wanted to be like others. He was nearly there. In many ways, he was a 21 year old. He couldn’t wait to buy his first beer on his birthday. He wanted to drive but knew he couldn’t. So he’d start the truck. He wanted friends in the worst way and did everything he could to find them. He walked the neighborhood stopping hikers, knocking on doors and waving at drivers. That’s how he made innumerable friends in Telluride, CO, where he lived part time in the summer; how he came to know his good friend, Don Boot, his neighbor, and how everyone he touched knew him as a very friendly guy. He was very intelligent for someone who had so much brain trauma. He won at Penta, went head to head with his friend Don in Triaminals and regularly challenged people to chess. He loved music. He knew his favorite bluegrass singers by name, voice and words. He loved to dance and would dance with anyone who was willing. He knew God with a better fundamental understanding than most at 21. He lived what he knew. Loving people came easy to Nate. It didn’t matter who you were or what you looked like. In Nate’s book, you were okay. He was a student of Kalamazoo Public Schools. Many teachers gave their love to him through their work. A Residential Opportunities Inc. home became his choice for independent living. There, he worked through the new dimensions of living outside his family home including building a friendship with his suitemate, Chris. Nate is survived by his brother, Ben Fleckenstein and his wife, Bonnie; his sister, Jessica Sylvester and her husband, Ryan; a grandfather, Albert Cronheim; five nieces and nephews; many aunts and uncles; and many extended family members. Friends will be received at the funeral home beginning 6 PM Friday evening where the family will be present from 6 to 8 PM. Services will be held 11 o’clock Saturday morning at Second Reformed Church, 2323 Stadium Dr., with Pastor Don De Young, officiating. Interment in Mt. Olivet Cemetery. Share a memory on line at www.Legacy.com. Contributions in his memory may be made to The Epilepsy Foundation of MI (for research) or Residential Opportunities, Inc., care of:

JOLDERSMA & KLEIN
917 S. Burdick
343-2628

Published in the Kalamazoo Gazette on 12/20/2007.

 I knew Nate and went to school with him, now I’m sad I never got to know him better.